The straps of my bag slips down my shoulder as I walk towards the subway.
Man, what is in this thing?
I glance down at the bag, no wait, it was the other bag that was falling. Oh, yeah, it was that stupid hardcover book I had to read for an assignment - honestly, it's bad enough that not all books are available on e-books, but hardcover?!?!
What century is this again?
But let's not lose focus on the bigger picture: why am I carrying two loaded bags down the streets of New York? All this is to get me through just one day? If you took a look at me, you would think someone was about to whisk me to a romantic weekend getaway - guess again.
I have come to the conclusion that the term "crazy bag lady" was not in reference to an old lady living with 18 cats and carrying half of the liter with her. No, they were referring to the 20-something girls in New York City that unfortunately have to drag their entire lives around like a homeless hobo.
But what's in the bags? I was surprised myself when I couldn't tell you the things I keep hidden from view. And so I present to you: THE ANATOMY OF A CRAZY BAG LADY'S BAG!
Ok, clearly we can skip the regulars: iPod, wallet, keys, iPad, cell phone, mace, and pocket knife. (If you think I don't need the last two, you need to remember... this is no Candy Land we live in)
Earmuffs - It's winter. My ears get cold. No way am I getting winter-hat-hair!
Gloves - Again, it's winter. My hands get cold.
Umbrella - Blame it on the unpredictable NYC weather, but there's just nothing worse than getting stuck in a thunderstorm. And good luck if you think you can get a cab after that.
Cosmetic Case with all the trimmings - Yeah, this face isn't natural, and it requires touch-ups
High-heels - *gasp* we don't commute in those outrageous 5 inch get-ups. I know... SHOCKING! But until I can get my imaginary personal driver to take me places, I'm not risking a broken neck.
Hand Sanitizer - Yeah, this city is DIRTY!
Sunglasses - Despite it being winter and we only have 3 hours of sun, I still want to protect myself those 3 long hours!
And let's not forget a handful of granola bars for the road, first aid kit, mini notebook, the occasional water bottle, and a random magazine here and there.
So there you have it, so next time you spot some poor crazy bag lady walking down the street,
remember : we're not carrying all of this stuff because we want to!
See below for a better visual.
